A moment in time

By Donna Nabors

HappyNews Citizen Journalist

A moment in time can be fleeting, and a moment in time is soon gone. Moments cannot be frozen, but in our mind, their impression is drawn.

My children provide the most precious moments in my life. We have gone through many stages and still have many more to come. In raising my children, I have fond snapshot memories. I can recall certain moments in time that I will always cherish.

My favorite stage of their life was the infant stage. I cherished their total dependence and need for my care and love. It gave me a great feeling—knowing that I was their security gave me a greater love and commitment to them. It was the basis for my wanting to provide them with the best that I could give until they were grown and could give to others. It was a time that I could totally protect them.

Then they became toddlers with lots of hugs and kisses. They learned to walk with lots of bumps and bruises, and they learned to talk in the sweetest ways. The first time they said "Mommy" was precious, and every word after that was a miracle. When my daughter wanted to listen to music, she said "mukison" for "music on". This was probably my favorite stage.

When they became preschoolers, they continued to say and do the funniest things. Everything they learned was out in the open. When my daughter started preschool, she came home and told her little brother to raise his hand when he wanted to talk to her; and because he was learning himself, he did. Their desire to please was so great. This was definitely my favorite stage.

As they bridged the gap into the elementary school years, I watched them develop their social skills as they went off to school and participated in gymnastics, dance, soccer and other activities. The first time my son scored a goal in soccer, I was probably more excited than he was.

But probably my favorite stage was that of preteens (no, I'm not insane). I enjoyed listening to their interaction with friends. I remember taking my son and a few of his friends to a birthday party. They were in the back seat discussing what colleges they were going to attend and why. At that time, my son was going to the University of Texas on a football scholarship. Now my son will be lucky if he reaches 5'8" and grows to be bigger around than a stick, but I would never discourage his dreams. At this age, they do dream big.

I learned by listening to that discussion that you need to have three choices for college in case they are full, and you have to apply at least four to six years in advance. Of course, nowadays, that probably isn't far off the mark.

Now as my children are teenagers, I am amazed by their desire for total independence, their total confidence in being right and the utter nonsense of their logic. This has to be my favorite stage.

My favorite moment was the look on my two 14-year-olds faces when we told them that if they get a car when they turn 16, it will be equipped with a GPS device so we always know where they are. Or it might have been when my daughter told me I'm a sexist because her brother was allowed to do something she wasn't, although she doesn't think it's sexist when he has to mow the yard and she doesn't.

My true favorites are those occasional moments when increasing maturity shows itself, such as my daughter progressing from thinking all her choir songs are stupid to telling me how great their next concert will sound when they sing in Latin with an orchestra or her progression from wanting to forget college and be a dog groomer at the local pet store to wanting to teach first-graders to read and write. I was so proud at that moment.

However, the next moment, she informed me she wanted to attend Texas Tech because she likes their colors. I'm sure her reasons will change, and I can only imagine the progressions she will make over the next four years and the special moments in time we will share. Even the difficult moments, like when she tried to pierce her own belly button, will fade into silly memories. Of course, that's only if one day I ever unground her.

As I look to the future, I'm sure there will be favorite moments in their college years. I look forward to what will be. We'll share memories of childhood as we look back through old photos and videos. I'll send care packages with cookies, shampoo, soap, magazines and words of encouragement. We'll rejoice in accomplishments as they make it through another professor's lecture and through another semester with passing grades.

Then I look further into the future to when they are grown and really gone. I look forward to the peaceful silence of an empty house without loud music or fighting or the sound of elephants upstairs. I look forward to my children experiencing and finally understanding what I experienced with them as they have children. We will reflect together on all the stages in their life. I can tell my grandchildren about their mommy or daddy when they were little, about all the conveniences we lived without and about how their great grandparents walked 5 miles in the snow to school every winter. This stage will truly be my favorite for it will be the beginning of a new phase and starting all over again with my grandchildren.

My favorite stage? Every moment of their life.

We must enjoy each moment with our children. We can't go back, and we can only go forward one moment at a time. Once one stage has passed, we can never have it back. When our children (even our teenagers) drive us crazy, remember there will come a time when we will miss them and wish they were there to drive us crazy again—if only for a moment.

This story was produced by Happynews Citizen Journalist, Donna Nabors. Nabors works from Keller, TX and is a mom of three teenagers and a full-time employee. She is ever an optimist stepping out into the world of writing.

For more information on contributing to Happynews, click here.