A tribute to caregivers

Virginia approached me as I was moving into the apartment next to the pool. Her apartment was in the building on the opposite side of the pool. She introduced herself, stating that she was interested in babysitting and asking if I needed a sitter to work full time. She said that she loved children, and with her only grandchild living in Alaska, she would love to provide day care to some children.

It was pretty unusual to set up childcare before I had finished moving in, but there was something about this gentle woman's presence that made me realize things were falling right into place. Newly divorced, and sole provider for my daughters, infant Karen and three-year-old Laura, I was grateful to accept whatever help I could get. My income was very low. If I thought living on 70 percent of my paycheck was a challenge, I reminded myself that Virginia was receiving only 30 percent to provide full time care for my children.

Virginia and her husband Roy were surrogate grandparents to my children. Virginia was there when my daughter Karen took her first steps, and Virginia potty trained her. She entertained my daughter Laura with craft projects and shared all of the details of my daughters' day when I came home from work.

Once after a successful day of hunting, Roy gave a raccoon tail to Laura to place on the back of her bicycle. As an animal lover, I was horrified to see a tail streaming from the back of my daughter's bike. Virginia listened as I explained my objection, and assisted me in explaining to my daughter why she should give it back. She always supported me as the parent and decision maker. Although our values occasionally clashed, I knew actions taken by Virginia and Roy derived from love.

Virginia made every holiday special for my children. She made Barbie doll birthday cakes, homemade Halloween costumes, and filled Easter baskets with the most exciting goodies. Virginia was the voice of wisdom when I was anxious about mysterious illnesses. I was able to focus my energy while on work because I knew my children were receiving excellent care.

Eventually, Virginia and Roy moved back to Alaska to be closer to their family, and I moved out of state as well. Letters and Christmas cards trickled to non-existent over the years until eventually we lost contact. When my youngest daughter expressed her interest in going to college in Oregon, we decided to go on a road trip along the coastal highway. Along the way, I suggested that we stop by the apartment where we lived when she was a baby. I found the apartment complex easily. "I thought I heard that Virginia and Roy came back to Oregon after a couple of years in Alaska. I wonder if they could still live in the old place?"

Karen and I walked up to the apartment. Feeling a little embarrassed, I rang the bell. To my surprise and delight, Virginia answered the door. "Roy, come here! It's Lisa and Karen!" Virginia exclaimed without a pause to reflect. She invited us in, delighted to catch up on the past years.

The last time Virginia saw Karen was when she was a preschooler. Our visit was unexpected after many years of no contact. I cannot understand how she would be able to recognize either of us, fourteen years later. I told her that I had thought about her often over the years. She said that she also had been thinking of us.

I know that my experience with my babysitter is not rare. Every day families leave their loved ones: young, elderly, disabled, or with medical needs in the supervision of a caregiver while they go off to work or school. It is unimaginable to me where I would be today, had it not been for the wonderful babysitter who became much more to my family. I have often heard the gratitude of my friends for the caregivers in their lives. We rely on them for so much. Without their dedication and care for the people we love, we would be unable to function as well in our careers. Our need for respite would go unfulfilled. It is because of the caregivers in our lives that our families are enriched.