(File image) Do you know what drains you and what gives you energy? Take a look at the main areas of home, work and family and get ready to zap some tolerations at lightening speed!
What Are You Tolerating?
FEBRUARY 17, 2008Susan Scholl, HappyNews ColumnistAre you putting up with tolerations that are constantly annoying you? We all have things that get in our way and keep us from living our finest life. Can you identify what’s getting in your way? Do you know what drains you and what gives you energy? Take a look at the main areas of home, work and family and get ready to zap some tolerations at lightening speed!
TOLERATIONS AT HOME:We all have annoyances in our homes that drive us crazy. You probably know how frustrating it is when you can’t find your scissors or a pen and scratch paper anywhere when you need them. Are you wading through too much clutter? Do you know what is in your refrigerator? You may even be living with a huge toleration such as disliking your geographic location. What about your appliances and furniture? Are they in good working order and in good condition? Do you have a stack of papers that need to be filed?Take some time to thoroughly evaluate your home, and you might add your car into the mix as well. Write down those things that have been annoying you for awhile. Some you will be able to fix right away; others will have to wait, but at least get them down on paper. When you have a good starting place, pick something that you can fix right away and get to work. When things get out of hand in our homes, we tend to become unfocused and exhausted. Do yourself a big favor by ridding your home of these draining tolerations.TOLERATIONS AT WORK:Our workplace can become one big toleration if we let it. Being interrupted by the boss and co-workers can be a huge waste of time. With today’s technology we can also waste a lot of time by surfing the net and checking our e-mail every five minutes. If you are not getting your priority work completed when it needs to be done, then it’s time to take a good look at what’s getting in your way. If you find yourself getting drained and perhaps experiencing afternoon headaches, it might be because you are dehydrated and have forgotten to drink the water your body needs to get through the day. You might even be experiencing a larger toleration such as being in the wrong type of work and not enjoying your career. Make a list of things you are tolerating in your workplace. You may need to start with something simple like tidying up your desk or something more complex like your entire office. As you discover what you are tolerating, start to put some new boundaries in place. You may need to let a chatty co-worker know that you don’t have time to talk at the moment. If you are constantly interrupted by your e-mail, make a point to check it less often. It’s important for co-workers to know that you are not available at any given moment to meet their needs. If you have a door to your office, keep it closed during certain hours. Remember your cell phone or blackberry has an “off” button, and for safety purposes, the car is not the place to be using your phone or texting.TOLERATIONS IN RELATIONSHIPS: Relationship tolerations can become a huge drain in our lives and can create a great deal of friction. Do you find yourself in a one-way relationship where you give more time and energy to someone than they give back to you? Do you associate mainly with people who totally drain you? Do you find that you have no time to do the things in life that bring you pleasure because others demand too much of you? When was the last time you communicated with important family members and friends? How many friends and family do you touch base with only through an annual holiday letter?
Take some time to evaluate the important relationships in your life and set aside time to nurture them. When someone is on your mind, pick up the phone and call them. If they are on your mind, there might be a good reason for it. Perhaps you need to take a little more time in the evening to play with your children or spend time with your partner. As a life coach, I have worked with clients who have literally given up all their friends because they were people who constantly drained them. I tend to think of these people more as acquaintances than friends. You will find that you will attract the kind of friends you really want when you have room in your life for them.As you begin to live a toleration-free life, you will find yourself becoming content, beginning to relax more, and having more fun. Getting rid of those tolerations can be uncomfortable at times, especially when it deals with other people. Boundaries have to be set and needs met. Self discipline will come into play at times, and it’s not always easy. But the good news is that it can be done. If necessary, get support in this area. Work together with a friend and help each other throughout the process or hire a life coach who is experienced in this area.
Susan Scholl is a Certified Professional Life Coach. You can read more about her at www.susanscholl.com.