Name A Strength and Make A Difference ©

Show me the trunk of your car. Hand me your luggage. Step back. I'll find a way to fit it all in. I'm a good packer.

No car, no mini-van, no SUV scares me. I can squeeze anything in no matter the vehicle. You can call my trunk-packing a sort of strength; I can do it consistently well, and I enjoy doing it.

How did I develop this strength worthy of being poked fun at on the David Letterman show? Over the years I've volunteered to pack the family trunk thousands of times. And I've been called in for the most difficult of jobs. I'm the "go-to" guy.

There's a beginning to all success stories. One day my Dad was having trouble finding a place in the trunk for one last bag. As he stepped back to get a better look, I stepped forward, adjusted three bags, and slipped the final bag in place. It was like laying down the final piece of a jigsaw puzzle. My dad turned to me with a big smile and said, "David, you're a good packer." I swelled with pride. I was nine years old.

Martin Seligman, co-founder of Positive Psychology, and Christopher Peterson, an expert on strengths and virtues in people, have found in their research that by simply naming a strength in someone you amplify it. My dad named my strength over three decades ago. And he did more than that. Like a good leader, like a good father, my dad turned that experience into a story and told everyone. And he made sure that I could hear him telling it.

Ask your employees. Ask your children. Ask them how many times they remember that you named a strength of theirs. Ask them how often they heard you telling others about their strengths. Ask them those questions.

The best leaders know that their belief in their employees' strengths has a positive impact on their performance. It also affects the goals their employees set. Stanford Psychology Professor Albert Bandura found in his research that "the goals held for others convey to them belief in their capability to fulfill them."

So the next time you notice your employees, your spouse, or your children doing something very well, consider naming the strength you see. Watch them light up, and watch how much more they use their strength. They'll use it often and they'll use it with pride. You'll have made a difference.

Last week I stepped out of my car in the Toys R Us parking lot and saw a young boy, his mother, and his grandmother trying to squeeze his new bicycle into the family car. I stopped and offered my help. Why? Because I'm a good packer.

For ten minutes the boy and I struggled to find a way to get the bike in the car. We came close many times. Finally, the mother placed a call to the boy's father and said they might not be able to bring the bike home. But I wouldn't give up. Why? Because I'm a good packer.

A few minutes later, I paused and thought we might not actually be able to get the bike in. I stepped back and the little boy said, "Wait." He reached in, grabbed the front tire, moved it ever so slightly and said to me, "Push." And the bike slipped right into place.

I saw him light up with pride. I smiled, walked over to him, placed my hand on his shoulder, and said, "You're a good packer."

David J. Pollay, MAPP, is the founder and president of The Momentum Project, an organization dedicated to increasing the positive momentum of their business clients. Email your thoughts and stories to: david @ themomentumproject.com.