Learning Limits in Traffic and Life

I had to get my brakes fixed this week. I had let them go way too long and the lady at the tire shop said in her wonderful British accent, "You don't have any brakes!" when I asked how bad the brake shoes were. It was metal on metal and I'm not proud of that.

The reason I didn't want to spend the money on new brakes is simple: I don't want to stop, I want to go! Admitting that I needed brakes just reinforced what I already knew - I can't get from work and back without stopping over and over. There is a stretch on the south loop that is 55 miles per hour, but who can ever go that speed? There's always the back of some car in my way, and it's going 30 just like the sixteen cars in front of it. Two lanes and both of them jammed with slowpokes. "Move it or milk it, lady!"

"Okay, the light just turned green up ahead, lets get up there and make it. Ohhh! Okay, maybe next time."

If I ever did try to make it all the way home without stopping at red lights, what would happen? Would that help my cause? Would I actually get home faster?

Children look at us, I think, with the same frustration. They see the roadblocks we put in front of them for their own protection. They don't want to stop, they want to go. It's not that we don't want them to move forward with their lives, we just want them to arrive safely. That means a few red lights and the exercise of a lot of patience. They may as well get used to it, that's life in the not-so-fast lane.

They want to cruise outside to play, but first they have to put on the brakes and do their homework. They are ready to rush to their rooms to play a video game, but they have to wait until they get the green light after supper. They want to speed to the living room to watch the latest show, but we stand in their way and demand they help clean up the kitchen first. Children want to grow up so fast. They want to skip the frustrations and hardships of learning, maturing, and reaching their fullest potential. They want to jump right to the good stuff, but the journey there turns out to be a large part of life's reward. Besides, it is as impossible as my driving to work without ever stopping. It just doesn't happen.

Back on the road, however frustrating it is being stuck behind a sluggard, it isn't as bad as being run over by someone who has no regard for the stated rules and posted limits. Driving is an exercise in patience, self-discipline and self-restraint. We need these qualities to survive the world today and so do our children.

Our children need to understand that responsibility comes with life and that life without it isn't worth living. Red lights and speed limits are necessary for a safe trip, and the rules and obstacles we place in front of our children are to guide them safely along on their journey.

If you see me out on the south loop, I'll try to smile, but I'm probably just trying to make it home in one piece and in decent time. I'll do better on the brakes next time. And I'll keep putting red lights, setting limits, posting rules, and giving guidance to my kids so they will enjoy their journeys and arrive safely at their destinations.

You can contact Craig Harris at www.apparentlyso.net.