The Secret to Getting Back Up ©

Floyd Patterson, a heavyweight boxing legend and Hall-of-Famer, once said, "They said I was the fighter who got knocked down the most, but I also got up the most." Patterson found a way to get back up each time. This is the mark of a good leader, and a successful person. You get up after you get smacked.

All success stories involve knock down after knock down. The question is, why do some people have the courage and confidence to get up while many people stay down. Let me tell you how I learned the secret.

Twelve years ago on a Friday afternoon in New York City something happened to me at work. It was one of those events that makes you want to run home, pull the blinds, get under the covers and put a pillow over your head.

As luck would have it, my Mom was visiting me that weekend; she was waiting for me when I returned from work. Now I have a mom with a talent for finding out what's bothering you; she's like a "psychological MRI." She gives you one hug, one look, and she knows what's wrong with you. Mom also knows just what to say. This is what she said that night.

When I was growing up in Maine I was teased for being poor. The kids picked on me because we had an outhouse in our backyard. They laughed at me because I went to a one-room school house. They made fun of my mother because she warmed her feet in the oven on cold winter nights.

I know how it feels when people put you down. But I learned that the key to a better life is not to focus on what people say you don't have, but to focus on what you do have.

And that's when Mom talked to me about what I call "The Law of Gratitude." She told me that if we think about what we're grateful for when we're overwhelmed, and when others are hurtful to us, we will always find the strength and courage to fight for the life we want to live. That's the secret.

Sunday night came and Mom left for Milwaukee. A few hours later I was walking around Manhattan's lower east side. I began to worry about work, and I was feeling more than just the "Sunday Night Blues." That's when I thought of Mom and what she said, "Think about what you're grateful for."

So I stopped right there where I was on 20th Street, between 1st and 2nd Avenue. There was a red brick elementary school there. I backed up to it, leaned on the wall, looked up and did just what Mom told me to do. I said everything that I was grateful for. I can still remember the feeling that came next.

Almost immediately my heart stopped racing, my chest relaxed, and I took a deep breath. I looked up at the sky and felt as if the passing clouds were carrying my worries away. My worries no longer seemed important compared to the many things I was grateful for in my life. I felt relief like never before.

From that moment on I knew the power of gratitude and I have tapped into it every day over the last twelve years, some days more than others!

So the next time you take one on the chin, do as my Mom says, "think of everything that you are grateful for," and like Floyd Patterson, you'll get back up before the count of ten.

David J. Pollay is an expert in the cutting-edge field of Positive Psychology. A graduate of Yale University, he will receive his Master's Degree from UPENN in Applied Positive Psychology this August. A former leader at Yahoo!, MasterCard, Global Payments, and AIESEC, he now runs The Momentum Project. Email David your comments and stories at david@themomentumproject.com, or call 561.265.1165.