Have Confidence In Your Children... and Yourself!

I wrote a column last year about how we may curse our children if we put them down or call them names. Children, I said, have a tendency to become what we call them.

There's a temptation to label our kids. One child is the smart one, one is the cut-up, or one is the dumb one. Kids hear and understand this and do everything in their power not to let our perceptions down. So, we may curse our kids to be dumb or ugly or failures when we tell them that they are.

Now, I wonder if we don't curse ourselves by our actions as well. Let me explain. I wonder if we don't prevent ourselves from being successful because we don't think we can be.

I heard a great quote on this the other day from Henry Ford. He said "Whether you think you can or you can't, either way you are right." Henry Ford could build cars that working people could afford because he thought he could. He developed the assembly line because he believed he could and the rest is highway history.

How much would we accomplish if just thought we could? How many of us are missing our lifelong goals and dreams because we think we simply cannot do it in the real world?

Jerry Seinfeld told a young comedian on his show one time, "Of course you stink, we all stink, that's show business. Now get out there and stink it up with the rest of them." The character took his advice and became very successful in what she was trying to do. Not that she was that good, she just believed she could succeed and so she did.

I've tried to instill this into my kids because I don't want them to be quitters, whether the issue is small or large.

I think my kids may be catching on. My wife was playing a video game with my daughter several years ago. My daughter was winning every time and my wife began to get frustrated. My daughter told her, "Don't give up, you can do it. No matter what you do, never quit." My wife was so taken by such mature advice from a six-year-old, she teared-up with pride. And she took her daughter's advice and kept trying. It turned out she was looking at the wrong character on the screen. As soon as she figured that out, she began to win her fair share.

So, what is it you really want to accomplish? Is it a dream job or maybe just a new hobby. Maybe, like me, you need to get more exercise, eat better and lose some weight. Let's not curse ourselves into failure by saying we can't do it. We can do it, we may just need to set realistic goals and then stick to them.

The goal may be to learn to play an instrument or golf, or it may be to become the NBA's first five-foot-five basketball star, but whatever it is, I think we curse ourselves when we believe we are going to fail. We must believe that we can go where our dreams take us and never, never, never give up. (That's from Winston Churchill's famous speech, by the way.)

Whatsoever a man thinks in his heart, so is he. What do you think in your heart? That you are a success or a failure?

I may stink as a writer, but I'm going to get out there and stink it up with the rest of them. I know my children are watching. And learning.

You can contact Craig Harris at www.apparentlyso.net.