Same Story, Different Day: 21st Century Heroines

By Cortney Philip

HappyNews Citizen Journalist

Classic literature is considered "classic" for a reason: the stories contain life lessons that still speak to us today. While that's a point against which any layperson would have trouble arguing, especially with die-hard, stuffed-shirt academics, it's fairly obvious that the classics speak more to men than to women. The men in these long-lasting tomes conquer monsters and the hearts of beautiful women, fall victim to hubris and learn all too late about the consequences of testing fate, and move through these stories as independently thinking actors who routinely challenge social norms.

But what about the women? From a woman's perspective, the stories feel dusty as we read, in desperate need of updating. It's one thing to glean what bit of wisdom we can from our heroines' crafty ways of living within rigid social structures created by men; it's another thing entirely to wonder how the body of classic literature might look if we transposed our heroines from then to now.

Don't get me wrong; I certainly don't want to suggest that classics should be rewritten or thrown out altogether. Rather, I propose that for some of us to find meaning in our favorite heroines' foibles, we must use our literary imaginations to see how radically different the tales may have been spun should the heroines of the past be transposed to the present.

Odysseus' wife Penelope from Homer's Odyssey is a great example of how simply flexing the old imagination muscles can update a classic for women readers. If Penelope's husband went missing for ten years and her mansion became overrun with suitors today, she would possess legal and cultural rights that she certainly didn't in the text. Imagine how wildly different the ending of the Odyssey would have been had Penelope assumed property rights and the stewardship of Corsica instead of her naïve son? Odysseus would have returned to do battle with Queen Penelope instead of a home full of wannabe kings. Instead of weaving, unweaving, and designing suitor party games, Penelope could have said no for the simple reason that now no really does mean no. She could have gotten a judge to issue thirty restraining orders and installed a high-end security system. Penelope's pluck and savvy would have gone much farther in contemporary times, and she would have been a much more understandable role model for us women readers.

Jane Austen's heroines never fail to irk my inner feminist, either. Both Catherine from Northanger Abbey and Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice spend way too much time sitting around and waiting for the right man to come along and propose. Heaven forbid a woman should reach my ripe old age of 24 and still be unmarried. Today, these bright young women would have realized that waiting stinks. They would have gone on to get degrees and cultivated groups of friends just as intelligent and promising as themselves. Elizabeth would have made a great attorney with her penchant for argument, and Catherine would have made an inspiring teacher with her love of reading. They may or may not have gotten married, but they certainly would have been loved by many for their accomplishments and wit.

Perhaps the affair novels are the most troubling subset of classic literature. When I think of Emma Bovary consumed with guilt-ridden illness or Anna Karenina throwing herself under a train, I know that today these women would have recovered quite nicely from their torrid and ill-fated love affairs. They would have appeared on Oprah, written best-selling novels, and gotten movie deals to tell their tragic love stories. And they would have made millions; because those are the love affairs we all want to be consumed by, minus the societal restrictions, of course.

Two of the most famous women in literature, Desdemona from Othello and Ophelia from Hamlet, could have been so much more than mere plot devices for Shakespeare's tragic heroes. Just imagine, dear readers: What might have happened differently had Ophelia or Desdemona carried pepper spray?

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