A new train of thought

By Amy Hanavan

HappyNews Citizen Journalist

Are you tired of being bombarded with negativity and fear every single time you turn on the television? Well I am, and I've had it with "the news!" The other day, I actually found myself flinching at the TV, because it felt like the newscaster was screaming at me.

I have tried not watching TV, but as you may have noticed, negativity has creeped into almost all forms of media and communication and it's a bit hard to avoid. It is even more difficult when you live with someone like my fiance Jeff, who is a passionate news junky.

A few days ago, he had the TV blaring while he was working on the renovation of our home. As I walked by the television I stopped to listen for a few minutes. It did not take long before I felt myself recoil in horror because it seemed like this particular reporter was delighted by the extremely gruesome details of the story he was reporting. Disgusted, I turned the television off and went to take a shower. I thought to myself, "Why did I watch that? What a way to start my day!"

How did we come to accept this daily dose of negativity as beneficial? It appears to me that most of our news programs add to our fear and stress and seem to increase the growing sense of powerlessness people are starting to feel about their lives.

As I stood in the shower ranting to myself, I thought WHY DOES NEWS HAVE TO BE SO NEGATIVE? Isn't there anything good we can focus on? We all know just how obsessed the media is with getting the latest story, so why can't they work just as hard to find something POSTIVE to report? Is there no value attached to the good in the world?

Our perspective of humanity and the world we live in has become so skewed. There are so many things happening every second that are filled with love, hope, humor, kindness, hope and progress, yet that type of news doesn't get ratings and therefore gets no airtime.

As I let the hot water of my shower cascade down, my righteous indignation began to wash away and I realized that I have to channel my energy into something productive that makes me feel better about the world I live in. Since it is pretty clear that our news broadcasts are not going to change, I need to alter the way I think and what I focus my attention on.

Now I know this is easier said than done, so I decided to think of it as breaking an old habit and replacing it with a new one. It takes time, and a willingness to begin again and again, until eventually I build some momentum in another direction.

I heard a great analogy once about a train moving in one direction. If the conductor wants to reverse the train's direction, he or she can't simply turn the train around. The conductor must begin slowing the train down until if finally can reach a stop. Then it can slowly build momentum in the opposite direction. I decided that I am on a new train of thought that I hope leads to a wonderful journey with all sorts of happy good news that I can report on.

I plan to observe the good in humanity and I'm going to be diligent in my efforts to find something to report on. Every Friday I plan to complete a column that hopefully others will want to read. But right now, I'm going to find something positive to write about for myself.

In the future, I will be delighted to share my personal thoughts and ramblings with anyone who is interested enough to read them! No matter how stressed out I get, or how challenging life might seem, I commit to finding something positive in every week to write about.

If I'm fed up with the media bombarding me with external negative communication, I sure as well better clean up my own act and alter the internal dialogue I conduct within my mind. I have noticed that such negative internal analysis usually happens while I'm driving. Often when I arrive at my destination, I realize that I have been thinking so much that I don't even remember driving to or how I got there!

This is precisely what happened to me a few days ago. It was my first day of actively searching out some good news but when I started out, I was hardly being positive. Instead, I was worrying about money and wondering if the renovation of our house would ever be complete. I found my mind whirling away reviewing all of the things we still had not finished in our house, and how long it seemed to be taking.

As I drove, I was mentally calculating how much everything would cost and I could feel that tight anxious feeling in my stomach as my mind raced along. Then began the self- incrimination, since I knew before hand that this renovating idea was really not my cup of tea; in fact it was something I knew I wasn't wired to do. My coping skills in the middle of chaos, dirt, and construction debris are minimal. So, I was wondering about my sanity when I agreed to the stressful five-month journey we undertook by renovating our home.

It was in this frame of mind, that I pulled into the parking lot of the Panera Bread down the street and decided I was really going to need a large dose of caffeine in order to alter this latest stream of negativity broadcasting from my own mind. I plopped my notebook down on one of the big comfy leather chairs that customers compete for and fortified myself with a large steaming cup of green tea and a chocolate hazelnut bagel.

I sat down determined to improve my mood and find something good to write about. I watched a little girl with her grandmother take delight in a cookie and a frozen fruit drink. She was playing with the paper menu on the table and making a fabulous crown, which she proceeded to wear on top of her head. As she meandered past our tables, several customers stopped to smile at her absolute joy in being a princess and waving her shiny wand, made from the tin foil on her grandmother's sandwich.

I felt myself starting to grin at her simplistic reminder of how magical life can be, and watched as she skipped out of the restaurant, singing her own little song and completely oblivious to world that most of us are trying to keep up with. I felt my mood starting to lift as I observed this little girl and her grandmother doing something that in most people's minds' would be entirely unremarkable.

I began to judge it as hardly being news worthy - and decided that I needed to find something more dramatic than that to write about. I went into the bathroom and happened upon a young girl brushing her teeth at the sink. She had her makeup and toiletries spread out all over the vanity, and her jacket hanging over one stall, making it a bit crowded in the restroom. When I finally made my way to the sink she had completed brushing her teeth and made an effort to clear the way for me to wash my hands. As I turned the water on, she turned to me and said, "I guess you never heard of someone brushing his or her teeth in a restaurant before."

As I looked at her I realized she was much younger than I had first thought and seemed very sweet and eager to apologize for any inconvenience she may have caused me. She told me that she had her very first job interview in about fifteen minutes, and her father was waiting outside to drive here there. They had stopped to eat breakfast, and he was helping her prepare for the interview.

I asked her what job she was applying for and she told me all about it. As she described how excited and nervous she was, I felt myself drawn into her eager anticipation and wanted to wish her well and encourage her. She proudly showed me her outfit, and then pointed to the jacket her father had bought her to wear on this important milestone in her life. I remembered the first grown-up suit I owned and how sophisticated and worldly I felt whenever I put it on. I was touched by this young woman's enthusiasm and her courage in braving this new world of employment and adulthood.

I'm not sure why - but her obvious desire to please her prospective employer and get this job brought tears to my eyes. She seemed so excited and although nervous, willing to venture forth. As I left the bathroom I wished her well and assured her that she looked fabulous and I was certain she would shine in her interview. I have thought about her several times since then, wondering how everything went, and thinking about some of my experiences in the world when I was her age.

Her eagerness to be brave and try something new stirred such positive emotion in me. Yet once again, I dismissed it as not being worthy of being used as my dose of positive news. I figured I still had a few more days in the field before meeting my self-imposed deadline for my first column. Eventually the day of my deadline arrived and I was still wondering what I should write about. As I was driving home from work I reviewed my first week of field research.

I starting laughing when I realized that I've been so influenced by the media that I have come to believe that if good news is not something dramatic, it doesn't seem to be very newsworthy. I was worried that my observations seemed too mundane and perhaps others might find them trite. I hadn't interviewed someone who was out saving the world, or dedicating his or her life to community service. I had just captured a few moments in time that had made me smile.

However, this is my column, and I can write about whatever I want. If it brings me joy, causes me to reflect on something positive, or inspires me in some way - then its good, happy news to me! I decided to summarize a few points and make my first deadline.

I pulled up to my house and made my way through the construction dust and debris in our carport. Suddenly, when I was least expecting it, I got the best happy news of my life. Jeff met me at the door and told me "not to get upset." Immediately nervous and on my way to upset, I asked him what was going on. He then proceeded to tell me that today, while he was working in the attic, he fell through the ceiling, crashed through a broken cabinet with jagged corners and rusty nails sticking it out of it, and that he landed on the concrete floor below, flat out on his back.

Needless to say I was stunned and kept staring at him in horror -looking at his scratches and staring at the huge piece of drywall that he had fallen through. He said very calmly, "It is so amazing, I felt like something was looking out for me. I have some pain in my side and some terrible scratches - but IM OK!!!!!"

The huge relief, awe and joy I felt in that moment was so incredible. The love of my life was ok, and standing here next to me - he could have died, or ended up in the hospital paralyzed for life. But here he was, with a goofy grin on his face - waiting for me to yell at him for not calling me after his fall.

Nothing could possibly top the feelings of gratitude and relief that washed over me as I thought about what could have happened but didn't. As I stared at the huge hole in the ceiling where Jeff had fallen through, I happened to glance at the clock and notice the time. I suddenly realized that it was four o'clock on Friday, and exactly one hour before my first deadline.

I couldn't help but smile at my realization that I had achieved the goal I had set for myself. I had some very good news to write about and there was even a little drama thrown in for good measure. I gave Jeff a big hug and rushed to my computer to type away, grateful that I could record this experience on paper and share it with my readers whoever and wherever they are. There are so many happy moments in life and I absolutely love writing about them.

This story was produced by a Happynews Citizen Journalist Amy Hanavan. Amy is a business owner and consultant in Orlando, Florida. She consults with clients nationwide, teaching them a concept she created called The Energy of Success.

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